College is basically a crash course on avoidance. Skimming the reading instead of actually doing it, ghosting texts instead of saying no or even telling yourself you thrive under pressure as you start an essay at 2 a.m. In “DENIAL IS A RIVER” Doechii takes that feeling and blows it up, exposing the ugly side of running from your problems.
Over a hypnotic beat, Doechii walks us through a therapy style conversation, unpacking a past relationship that left her spiraling. The moment of truth? Finding out her partner was not only cheating, but lying about his sexuality.
“She didn’t know about me and I didn’t know ’bout Sue/
I open up the messages, then had to hit the zoom /
Turns out the girl was really a dude”
Cue Wendy Williams’ iconic quote: “Denial is a river in Egypt, your husband is gay!”
But it runs deeper than that. This betrayal kick-started the whole process of denial. She avoids the situation, putting all of her energy into her music. But beneath the surface, she’s not proud of the music she’s making. The art she once poured herself into has been swallowed by industry expectations, reduced to nothing more than content for an algorithm.
At the end of the track, Doechii has reached her lowest point, drowning herself in drugs and the intoxicating chaos of Hollywood. It’s all just a way for her to detach from the deeper turmoil bubbling underneath.
“I like doin’ Hollywood sh*t, snort it, probably would/
What can I say? The sh*t works, it feels good/
And my self-worth’s at an all-time low”
Her lyricism on this track is brutally self aware, teetering between humor and deep vulnerability. She jokes about her vices, each line a confession wrapped in wit, perfectly capturing what it’s like to avoid the truth until it smacks you in the face. This song serves as a reminder that the little things we ignore can build up over time. So maybe next time, we can save ourselves the trouble and start that essay before 2 a.m.