Wow, Frank Ocean, remember him? One of the biggest R&B artists of the 2010s, it’s now been 10 years since he released his last album, Blonde. 

It is not an understatement to say that Blonde is one of the most influential albums of the century. This is not a review of the album or a discussion of who it inspired, artists like SZA, Daniel Caesar and Brockhampton, to name a few; rather, this article will focus on one of the most popular tracks on the album — “Self Control.” 

Peaking at 15 on the Hot 100, this four-minute and nine-second song is the seventh track on Frank Ocean’s sophomore studio album. 

The title “Self Control” captures the crux of the song: how a relationship falls apart when one member is too immature and lacks “Self Control.” 

The track starts with singing; there is no backing track, so all we are left with is Frank’s pitched-up vocals. Frank often used this throughout the album to reflect that this is a past version of him. 

He sets the scene as a poolside convo, he’s asking about this person’s summer, but really he wants to know if they’ll get together before the summer ends. 

“Poolside convo about your summer last night (Ooh, yeah) /

About your summer last night /

Ain’t give you no play, mm /

Could I make you shive last night? /

Could I make you shy on the last night? (Last night) /

Could we make it in? Do we have time?”

At the end of the intro, he panics as the vocals speed up and realizes that no, they won’t get together before summer ends. 

Frank’s vocals are normal now; we are back in the present as he rues over his relationship.

“I’ll be the boyfriend in your wet dreams tonight.”

This is where we see the immaturity come to the forefront. Frank has lived his life; he is mature enough to handle a relationship, but his lover only knows a relationship in terms of sex. 

“Wish I was there, wish we’d grown up on the same advice /

And our time was right”. 

Franks finishes the first verse, lamenting how their upbringings led them to be such disparate people. If only they had grown up in similar fashions, maybe this would’ve worked out. 

“Keep a place for me, for me /

I’ll sleep between y’all, it’s nothing /

It’s nothing, it’s nothing /

Keep a place for me, for me.”

Frank’s vocals are pitched up again in the chorus. Now, we are back in the past, his feelings are fresh, and we see a shift from lamenting the end of the relationship to bargaining for anything. 

He wishes for his ex-lover to keep a place for him, in his bed and in his heart. He doesn’t want what they had to be forgotten, but truly, they weren’t right for each other, which he learns as he moves on and grows up. 

“Now and then, you miss it, sounds make you cry /

Some nights, you dance with tears in your eyes.”

Back in the present day, Frank talks about how, when memories of his past love come up, he gets emotional. Their “song” comes on, and he is left dancing with tears in his eyes. Frank is not only speaking on something deeply personal to him but also on something deeply relatable to the audience.  

“I came to visit, ’cause you see me like a UFO /

That’s like never, ’cause I made you use your self-control /

And you made me lose my self-control, my self-control.”

Frank sings about how he still goes to visit his ex, but he knows that his ex feels like he isn’t really there. This is because they are using their self-control. He uses the song title to drive home the point that their relationship can’t work and that they need to leave each other alone.

He then repeats the chorus, his voice still pitched up, while Austin Feinstein lends his voice to support it. 

“Sometimes, you’ll miss it /

And the sound will make you cry /

And some nights, you’re dancing /

With tears in your eyes.”

Frank sings the bridge, reprising lyrics from the second verse. The memories of his past love are still tender, even after he has grown so much. 

“I, I, I know you gotta leave, leave, leave /

Take down some summertime /

Give up, just tonight, ‘night, ‘night /

I, I, I know you got someone comin’ /

You’re spittin’ game, know you got it”.

Here comes the emotional outro. If you take the song as the stages of grief, then Frank has finally reached acceptance. He knows that his ex has to exit his life and that they have other people. 

Frank repeats “I”, “leave” and “night.” It reads like he’s trying to convince his ex that he is over it, but when you hear him sing it, you realize that, truly, he is trying to convince himself.

Has Frank convinced himself that the relationship is truly over as he repeats the outro while fading out, leaving the audience with four seconds of the backing track to make their opinion. 

As fans beg and plead for Frank to drop new music, “Self Control” keeps resurfacing. As they pine for this relationship with their favorite artist that feels like it’s crumbled, the question shifts from ‘Has Frank moved on?’ to ‘Have you?’