Picture this: You and your friends decide to spend your Friday evening checking out the new burger joint downtown. Your belly is scraping your back, and you’re hoping for a good meal and a good time.
You arrive with a party of four, and as you’re guided to your table, you see a string of mini lightbulbs strung across the restaurant. It’s also very dark, making it hard to observe your surroundings. As you get seated, you realize that you’re stuck at a high-top table with those metal barstools that have no back on them. In your hunger-fueled stupor, you open the menu to find the one thing that can satisfy your cravings: a burger.
However, you can’t find the burger section of the menu. It takes a bit, but you eventually find a $20 burger under the “handhelds” section. Suddenly, your waiter comes to the table. Decked out with a man bun, a sizeable ear gauge and an intense beard, he asks, “So, what are we eating tonight?” He advises your group to get the $13 pretzel rods as a “sharable.” They come with their homemade beer cheese.
After you get your drinks — that don’t include free refills — and indulge in those microwaved pretzel rods, it’s time to place your order. You ask for a burger with bacon, to which the waiter replies, “Just so you know, bacon is a $5 add-on.” The burger comes with homemade chips, but chips are boring. You decide to replace them with parmesan truffle fries, which cost $7. The bill is racking up.
Finally, your burger arrives. It’s served on a metal, rectangular plate with a brown piece of paper in between the plate and the food. The ketchup is served in a little metal cup, and the parmesan truffle fries, with garlic aioli on the side, are served in a cone wrapped in newspaper. Honestly, you’re a little upset about the burger. A $20 burger has to be out of this world, right? Unfortunately, it’s just mediocre.
After paying way too much for the meal, you start driving home. You thought you left the restaurant, but it followed you home. No matter what you do, you cannot get the songs that were blasting on the restaurant speakers out of your head. The chants, woes and hey-ho’s fog your mind and remind you of the bands you just dropped. As much as you hate to admit it, the music does tie the whole experience together.
This playlist will transport you to your local millennial burger restaurant — or “eatery” — started by two guys with a crazy dream. From stomp-and-holler classics to nostalgic, overplayed radio hits, this playlist will inspire you to order the burger (and beer). After all, you only live once.
