Recently, my mind has been consumed by a comic by J. Marshall Smith about Laika the cosmonaut dog, Good Girl Laika. Specifically its panel set featuring Laika, a scientist, a goldfish and a star, all asking the cosmos, “Am I going to be okay?”

The past few years have not been kind to me. With mental health crises, regular health crises and more than a few near-death experiences, I have been more than struggling to cope. But it now seems I have finally been given a break. I am feeling more creative than ever. I have been given more opportunities to share my art than ever. I’ve felt confident, social, healthy, happy for once. I feel as though I have more love and support than ever before, inpouring and outpouring. So now I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can’t help waiting for it all to fall to pieces again. I just can’t shake the question, am I going to be okay? More than anything, I can’t shake the fear I won’t be.

The next panel of the comic shows Laika witnessing the absolute sublime power of the universe. The birth and death of stars, the journey of asteroids, the collision of planets and the caption, “It is really beautiful up there.” I only wish I could see what Laika sees.